No Candy on Halloween?

Large corporations putting wintery tricks in our Halloween treats?

Large corporations putting wintery tricks in our Halloween treats?

Sophia Stringer

Outraged parents have halted the exchange of candy on October 31 as a result of the safety hazard it posed to children. While trunk-or-treating during the weekend before Halloween with her children during a community gathering, a mother noticed a metallic sheen on the inside of her chocolate bar. Confused, she extracted thin strands of tinsel, seemingly preserved in the candy. After further investigation, she found that the tinsel was hidden in all the Halloween treats at the gathering. Because of her spreading the word to others through her various social media pages, other parents were also angered after discovering tinsel in their candy as well. This concern seems to have prompted parents across the nation to protest upcoming trick-or-treating.  

Experts infer that the hidden decoration in the Halloween candy is a result of upcoming winter celebrations. Tinsel, a staple holiday embellishment, was added to the treats to promote the sales of the various winter products that are offered in the big-box stores in which the Halloween candy is sold. “Honestly, I’m outraged,” a Wisconsin mother stated, “My children are only six and seven years old- they will buy anything involved in catchy advertising!” Parents believe that the stores have taken their advertising too far, and demand that winter holidays stay in winter. 

Some worry that this quick shift from Halloween to winter celebrations could also prompt the complete end of the beloved national holiday Thanksgiving. Without the advertisements for Thanksgiving festivities, people wonder if children will forget about the holiday entirely! A grandfather of five healthy children and father of three declares, “I have celebrated Thanksgiving with my family for seventy-nine years, and I will continue to give thanks with my family on every November 24th in the future!”  

Will future generations acknowledge the existence of holidays that do not fall during the winter season? Only time will tell. Until then, someone should really lawyer up and try to make some money off this scandal.