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Prom Tips 2019

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Prom Tips 2019

Can't get rejected if you don't ask anyone 🤔

Can't get rejected if you don't ask anyone 🤔

Can't get rejected if you don't ask anyone 🤔

Can't get rejected if you don't ask anyone 🤔

Travis Gullapalli, Stand-Up Tragedian

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This year’s prom season has come and finally gone, leaving an uptick of drama, alcohol sales, and awkward memories in its wake. Here at the Scallion, we’re all about sharing what we’ve learned with you, so here are a few tips tips to have a perfect prom.

  • Who doesn’t love a surprise? If you’re a guy and not dating someone (aka if you’re a loser), make sure that when you pop the question to the girl of your choosing you do it in the most public area possible, preferably with both yours and hers friends around.
  • Don’t forget to order a corsage! For best results, buy it weeks in advance and leave  it outside – like a fine wine, the quality of a corsage only improves over time
    • Pro Tip: Buy multiple corsages/boutonnieres to flex on your friends
  • Impress your date with your financial responsibility choosing McDonald’s for dinner on your big night. Use the dollar menu only for best results
  • Never ever drive drunk! If you really feel like being dumb, save it for more entertaining stunts like attempting to kiss your date while she flirts with your hotter, funnier friend
  • Don’t make a scene if you aren’t elected to prom king/queen. Instead, focus your rage on planning your revenge so that two years later Brad and Lindsay find themselves the victims of a surprise attack by Sentilese cannibals

 

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About the Writer
Travis Gullapalli, Chief Zoologist

Raised in the forests of the Sahara Desert, Travis Gullapalli has spent 36 years reporting on the world's most pressing issues, utilizing his vast experience...

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