Trick or Treat: The Worst Tricks in Our Candy Baskets

Ceramic pumpkins filled with candy

Ceramic pumpkins filled with candy

Laney Havens, Reporter

Today we’ll be ranking the top 5 worst Halloween candies to receive while you’re out trick-or-treating. Are some of them controversial? Yes. Does that change my opinions? No. So here they are: The Top 5 Worst Halloween Candies, starting with the not-so-bad, and saving the worst for last.

  1. Milk Duds – Now, some people may say milk duds are good. They are wrong. They may like milk duds with a burning passion. Their opinions are invalid. Milk duds are essentially chocolate flavored caramel balls, aka the devil’s little caramel balls of fury that taste fine for a few moments and are stuck in your teeth for an eternity.
  2. Butterfingers – Butterfingers are made by a subdivision of the Ferrero company. And considering this, they could’ve done much better. This candy bar is incredibly sub-par. After asking around about Butterfingers, I’ve discovered that no one actually knows what they are; just that they taste bad. Butterfingers consist of peanut butter filling with hard candy folded in. This is a fatal mistake. No one wants mysterious unknown hard candy stuck in their teeth alongside the taste of cheap peanut butter and low-quality chocolate.
  3. Baby Ruth bar – A milk chocolate-covered bar containing peanuts, caramel, and some more lovely low-quality nougat. But this time, it’s chocolate flavored. The peanuts and caramel would be good if the nougat didn’t interrupt their natural chemistry with its own selfish desire to be in the spotlight. The bar itself also tends to fall apart when eaten, which is never a good thing.
  4. 3 Musketeers – These candy bars consist of two things: low quality chocolate and even lower quality nougat. That’s all I have to say.
    1. Dots – Everyone hates Dots. Have you ever met anyone that doesn’t? No. They’re like stale blobs of pure food dye. What are they even supposed to taste like? As the main ingredient, corn starch is the only flavor there is (though the food dye manages to really shine through). The only positive thing about Dots is that you can trade them with your naïve younger siblings for something good, like a Reece’s cup.

I’d like to conclude this list with an honorary mention for a very popular candy bar: Hershey’s milk chocolate. It’s controversial, yes, but important to mention. Hershey’s chocolate is made in such a way that develops lactic acid, giving it it’s signature “American” taste. This taste is slightly tangy, and only some people will pick up on it. Those that do notice though, tend to hate this popular low-quality candy bar. It’s ‘tanginess’ is similar to the acidic taste of throw up, and this is the reason behind Hershey’s milk chocolate being an honorary mention for one of the worst candies to receive on Halloween.

All in all, there are some controversial opinions, but these are the candies you would be most disappointed to see in your candy basket after trick-or-treating and the first ones you would trade for anything else. Thank you for attending my TED talk; if you have some opposing opinions or any agreements, feel free to voice them in the comment section of this article.