Difference in gender, effects on relationships

Photo Credit: Antonia Douchi

After recently celebrating their fourth Valentine's Day together as a couple, Melodie Farnan (12) and Jared Repass (12) are still going strong.

Antonia Douchi, Staff Reporter
February 14, 2012
Filed under Student Life

Men think women are confusing. Women think men are confusing. Why is this, when a man makes sense to himself and other men and a woman makes sense to herself and other women? The answer is pretty simple, actually. Men and women are not only physically different, but emotionally and physiologically different too. The way the two genders look at things can sometimes make a relationship questionable. Simply understanding the way the other person thinks, might make your relationship last longer.

Problem Solving

Your boyfriend wants to spend his Friday night over at his friend’s house playing video games and eating pizza. You want him to go see that new movie you’ve wanted to see for a month on its opening night. He says you can go on Saturday. He doesn’t understand why this solution upsets you.

 Here’s why: Men and women don’t solve problems in the same way. Men use logic, and often pick the first solution that will be quick and effective, not thinking of how it might make you feel. “That’s usually how it is, not always. The majority of the time,” said Jared Repass (12), who has been in a relationship with Melodie Farnan (12) for three and a half years. They also don’t care how the solution is reached, just that there is one. From his eyes, he’s going out with his friends like planned, but still going on a date with you. Everyone wins.

From your eyes, your boyfriend is putting his friends first. Instead of going with you to the premiere, he would rather hang out with his buddies. That makes you angry, because you think he doesn’t care that he’s hurting your feelings. What’s actually happened is he doesn’t realize he’s hurt your feelings. When women solve problems, they put everything into consideration, and if they think a solution might result in hurting the other person, they often eliminate it. What women don’t understand is that men don’t do that. And men don’t care for sitting and chatting until a resolution is reached that makes them both happy.


Your mom’s birthday is coming up soon, and you want to bake her an amazing cake. However, the when the day to make the cake comes around, you realize you don’t know how. You have a day to figure out what you need to do to bake one.

A woman would look at this problem, and take it slowly. She would look at everything she had ever made similar to a cake, look over the instructions, and try to piece it all together. This is because women are intuitive thinkers. They look at all their knowledge on the topic, and everything that has happened to them relating to this topic, before piecing it together to make a new solution. “[I think about] everything that went wrong, he’s just thinking about now,” said Melodie.

On the other hand, a man would look at this problem and leave this one alone. He would consider all parts separately, instead of at the same time. He might even try solving it one way, and fail, and try again, because men learn better by trial and error.


You and your boyfriend have been fighting a lot, and every time you fight it reminds you of the last time you fought. This brings back a kind of pain, and even though you made up, it adds to the anger. But you don’t get it. He doesn’t seem upset about previous fights at all. For example, if you have a fight with your boyfriend because he forgot your birthday, and you’ve had this fight before, then you’ll remember it, because the disappointed feeling stays with you.

This is because women best remember things when they have a strong emotions attached to them. Chances are good if he makes you feel let down again, you’ll remember when he forgot your birthday, then you might be mad at him for that too.

Men, on the other hand, remember things best when there are similar events, or experiences involved. “Everyone can remember more if there’s an emotional tie in. If it’s going to be a memory, there will probably be some sort of visual to tie into it,” Beverly Newbern said, the psychology teacher at Hidden Valley. Based on what she said, maybe men remember emotions fairly well too


Every day you and your boyfriend go to the park and play catch, but you’re starting to feel like you’re drifting apart. However, he feels like you are closer than ever. Why?

For a girl, she will probably feel closer to her boyfriend when they talk, or just sit around. Girls like talking better, because it gives them an understanding of their boyfriend, and makes them feel closer. The cause of this is a higher sensitivity level.  Cuddling, and having heart to heart conversations are the type of things girls like doing in a relationship.

But guys feel better and closer to their girlfriend when they have a physical tie in. If a couple hangs out a lot, or plays sports together, the guy feels a better connection than if they just talk. Maybe every once in a while you can play catch, or go for a walk.


17 Responses to “Difference in gender, effects on relationships”

  1. Nikki on February 16th, 2012 11:16 am

    I don’t understand this school’s obsession with gender stereotypes and promoting them so much. this promotes women as the “smart but too emotional” standard and men as the “brains but often somewhat dumb” standard–nevermind that it completely omits same sex couples completely.

    maybe just MAAAYBE we could put a little more thought on gender diversity and NON-heterosexual couples next time?


  2. Tyler Thayer on February 16th, 2012 11:27 am

    Why did you even feel the need to make an article like this? This just seems like a pitiful attempt to excuse certain behaviors because “They’re just being guys/girls.”
    It also enforces wonderful gender stereotypes.
    Why should people like me and my friends feels safe and accepted at this school again? You’re proving to us the exact opposite with every article and Titan TV with this bullhockey.


  3. taylor s on February 16th, 2012 11:58 am



  4. Grace Earnhart on February 16th, 2012 12:16 pm

    This doesn’t make any sense.
    It might make sense if it had some sort of scientific basis to it; There are obvious psychological and physical differences between sexes.
    But personality doesn’t base itself off of gender or sex. Personality, behavior, feelings, and things like ‘problem solving’ are learned through how someone is raised, their environment, and the society they’re involved in.

    Even if you use the disclaimer that these are just ‘stereotypes’ it still puts people in these narrow boxes of what they’re expected to be and act like according to gender roles


  5. hanna podeschi on March 2nd, 2012 3:16 pm

    I thought that it was really interesting read about how girls and guys think differently. I realized that i think like that sometimes.


  6. Alex on March 2nd, 2012 3:31 pm

    This is just confusing to me.


  7. Alex on March 2nd, 2012 3:32 pm

    This is just confusing to me. And i dont think it makes much sense.


  8. Yi Chen on March 2nd, 2012 3:33 pm

    This doesn’t make sense. I understand that some answers are obvious but I hate how we describe people by gender or how there personality is different.


  9. Rachael on March 2nd, 2012 3:34 pm

    I find this very stereotypical, not all men are strong and manly and not all women are girly and weak hearted. People have different taste and views on how to approach situations. Grouping girls with “emotional and sensetive” while boys are “tough and mellow” just isn’t right.


  10. Nicholas Smith on March 2nd, 2012 3:47 pm

    This article had so much bias concerning gender stereotypes that I had to struggle just to get past the third paragraph. It is all too obvious this article was written by a woman, and I hate this shovanistic society that groups individuals into groups based on the way they were born. I am an intellectual, emotional person that does not like sports and would rather spend his time watching documentaries and reading classic literature, and guess what? I’m a guy! This article, although well meaning, was narrow-minded and shallow. I can tell the writer has potential, but is not utilizing it to the best of their abilities.


  11. Dimitri Young on March 6th, 2012 10:21 am

    I am not quite understanding yet acknowledging the key perspective in this artical. I think this is a matter of stereotypical crisitsim! I honestly do not agree with this article.


  12. Ashley on March 6th, 2012 12:05 pm

    I would like to see some facts please, proven facts, quotes, books where i can find this stuff


  13. Sydney Hearst on March 6th, 2012 1:45 pm

    This article also seems too gender specific to me. Not all relationships are one man and one woman, and it doesn’t have any example of how any other relationships would have displayed their solutions. Even in the heterosexual relationship displayed, it’s very stereotypical. Some women think like men, and vice versa.


  14. Blessing Smith on March 6th, 2012 1:48 pm

    I get what the article is saying but in a way it’s common sense. You know that when you’re in a relationship you’re not going to agree on everything, but if you guys are going strong and respect each other you’re going to be ok. It’s not the sex difference that make the relationship good or bad. Its the people and how they work to have a good/bad relationship.


  15. Yasmin on March 6th, 2012 1:52 pm

    This article is extremely stereotypical and bothersome. Gender isn’t binary and you shouldn’t be promoting it as such like this. I thought this article was going to be much better than it turned out to be, honestly.


  16. zachary carney on March 8th, 2012 1:16 pm

    i totaly agree with this. it has been that way in all of my relationships. but because i knew this already, i try to implement this info in all of my relationships.


  17. Courtney on March 9th, 2012 11:23 am

    I can understand why so many people have commented on how stereotypes are mentioned in this article, but Titan Times is just trying to tell you what the average person would be like. Everyone is different, but both genders are the same in many ways depending on if your a boy or girl.


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